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Own Up by being a Grown up Interview with Rikki Ayers

Posted by Kyla Plaxton on Subscribe to RSS

Kyla: Hello there Ricky it's so great to have you the feel better Today Show today and just like your work with the Millennials and  I can't wait to hear more about that and as always I always get to know people so much better when they come on my show so I'm so stoked for that today

Rikki: Thank you so much for having me and so happy to be here

Kyla: Yeah and for those who have been listening Rikki has recorded me for her podcast she is a fellow podcaster out to make a difference in the world, hey

Rikki: Yeah. It’s funny it never really started out like that and then you started getting into it you know get inspired by people’s stories and how people can change their lives you know just by listening to someone else’s story, it’s changed and it’s morphed it's been an amazing ride so far.

Kyla: That’s so great. We’re gonna share everything about that today to our listeners here on the Feel Better Today Show. So I'm gonna go on to the questions and my first question is; what is your main focus in your mindset that you use in your day to day to really like keep you moving forward in your personal life in moving towards your dreams?

Rikki: I'm super goal oriented so for me you know the end goal that you know to make more money to get more followers to you know whatever whenever things start to get hard well first thing in the morning I think about of why I'm doing all these? What is the purpose for today and why am I doing the work that I'm doing? And I have very clear image of what I would like my future to look like and I just think about that all the time and it’s almost an obsession {laugh}but it helps me gets super clear on what I need to do and what I don't need to do.

Kyla: That’s great. If you could just in a couple sentences just tell us when you say my work what is that for you?

Rikki:  So I'm a copywriter and a content marketer so that's what I do by day {laugh} and I'm working on some other writing and do a podcast and my big thing that I'm really interested in is helping people tell their stories in a way that is authentic  and also super clear and confident so something, where I help people do, is kind of weed out the stuff that doesn't matter and get really clear on the stuff that does matter the stuff that people get really excited about and respond to

Kyla: Right and you have a journalism background right?

Rikki: Yeah I started out as a freelance journalist and I've done you know freelance journalism stuff here and  there kinda part time for almost 10 years now and then gone into a corporate nonprofit communications  and marketing about 4 years ago and that's kind of how things have changed in terms of the kind of work that I do

Kyla: not really personal level can you tell us your story of like where you started and where you're

Rikki: Yeah where I'm going haha. One only knows. But I will I'm happy to share I grew up in British Columbia I think there were like 3 kids my age in my elementary school class {laugh} and I grew up and moved to a slightly bigger town not much that bigger and i just always felt like a black sheep i think i don't know where it comes from if its influence by my parents or something like that but I was always different from other people and I have friends  and everything like that but i really always feel like I'm an outsider and  so once i graduated school and way in the world am a little bit lost because I didn't really know who I was because I never been able to really reflect you know my personal qualities from off of anyone else and I end up getting into the tourism industry met a ton of great people that got to live to some cool places but found it really wasn't what I was good at I'm not the kind of  person that loves to talk to people constantly I love one on one conversations I love you know really deep thinking  work and I love hard work which kind of a funny thing {laugh}

Kyla: That’s great

Rikki: When I was younger I always have this huge dream of being a creative director I love looking at big picture projects and seeing like how does it look? What are we gonna say How does it all fit together and tell a really good story? And basically when i was younger everyone told me like “no that’s not a career you’re not gonna be able to do that you’re not good enough to do that “and so I believe it and so I spend a lot of my 20’s kind of wallowing about and trying all these different things trying to figure my life out and finally I just said “you know what I'm just gonna do this I'm just gonna be what I want because if I don't I'm gonna regret it so I went to a university for communications got my degree did all that stuff and then decided I wanted to go and work in non-profit so I work in non-profit in corporate and while the work was really challenging and really interesting I was wearing a ton it wasn't right for me and what I finally discovered is that I don't do well in an office setting and I realize this for my previous career in tourism as well as well as I was always sucked  in an office and I'm very much the kind of person that needs to be free  I can go to a coffee shop when I need to or to take a break when I need to and I'm a bit rebellious that way I don't like people telling me when I have to work and when I should be doing everything

Kyla: I know the feeling

Rikki: A couple of years ago I was just so unhappy with my job and I was at that point where I was just like I don't know why I'm doing this anymore I don't know where this is going I don't know if I've gotten myself stuck in a career path that really I should've I just felt stuck and so

Kyla: How old were you at this point?

Rikki: I was 29 so it was only a couple of years ago yeah so 29 so I started to look at a sort of like an entrepreneurship I've never really  thought about that as an actual career none of my family has really done so I sort of look at entrepreneurship and started to look at how to build an online business  because to me it seem like it's a perfect mix of what I was looking for you know i could work my own hours and do the kind of work that I enjoy and then i started my business last year last April so it's only been a year and a bit and it has been a wild ride it changed my life completely and I've had you know it's been a roller coaster as well but i find that I'm at  a point now where wow you know what my life is so good and i feel like I'm finally at a point where it so comfortable and confident in my own life that I'm finally able to help others you know in whatever way I can maybe do that to themselves and I don't know where that is going I've loved to continue the work that I do the writing work that I do and find ways to help more people gain confidence in what they wanna do and just go for it.

Kyla: Well I hear a real niche in supporting people like their heart-centered story like what you said story like in business like making a difference and I think our age in your podcast seem to be about you know the millennials having that passion for young people is like we’re all here now to make the world a better place and finding the best way to do that is to be vulnerable is to be transparent is to like share our stories right? But there are places in there that can be hard to articulate

Rikki: Yeah I totally agree

Kyla: Yeah that’s what the gift you have.  what would you say was the lowest point in your life the hardest thing you had to overcome

Rikki: Yeah I was thinking about that it was ah. I'll tell you a story about a moment i had last fall so I've been running my business for about 8 months and i was actually really unhappy point because the business wasn't really be; it wasn't successful on my terms i was constantly chasing clients people were paying me late i just never had run a business before so I didn't know how to set up a proper system or anything like that but i was on Salt Spring Island looking after a someone's place and I was by myself and I was like trying to figure out how other people had become successful so that I could figure out how I think maybe model someone and whatever so I was looking at everyone's stories and there were all these amazing like Rags to Riches stories and I can see the people really cut onto those and I was looking at my own life like you know what I don't really have a rags to riches story I've never really had a low low low point thankfully in my life and It clicked for me at that point because I was just feeling shitty about that “oh maybe my life hasn't sucked enough for me to inspire people to wanna work with me which is ridiculous [laugh] but that's how i felt i felt like i hadn't have i felt like my story wasn't big enough for to be entrusted in it and then and so I just felt like kind of like i don't know it feels like maybe i just feel like I'm not enough of something of everything and so I really looked at that and i spent the weekend  you know on my own just trying to working through that and i realize like for people you know like me who maybe hadn't have tragedy in their life or have had something huge to overcome  i mean i have to overcome things in my life I'm a child from a divorce like i said in my 20s i was really stuck just trying to figure myself out but i think for people who have had it not easy but have had it easier than some other people i think we have a responsibility to use our strength to help other people overcome what they are trying to overcome.

Kyla: wonderful. Yeah and I really get that from you you know you're just like this kind of Steady Eddie right you're pretty like upbeat you know you're just a good person coming from myself that really have a rocky childhood you know like somebody I might I could just like rely on it's just easy you know like I can trust what you say your words your word it's nothing to figure out you're just really really there right? and that's super beneficial and some people have to work out a lot of like Communications and boundaries stuff and you know just their stuff which is totally fine too and I'm totally down for that but it takes all kinds and also like I find people who haven't had really hard life or whatever don't really get their worth you know they are just like “what am I meant to do in the world” like they are kinda lost

Rikki: Yeah and that’s a lot of what I talked about on my own podcast is people's stories where they’ve come from and what cause them to be sacked and usually some kind of family turmoil or just that like depression at a young age or something like that and then we talked about how they found the sense of self-worth in themselves in order to find a new path and that's been so rewarding to be able to talk to people about that

Kyla: Yeah and so when you're really feeling shitty about yourself what was the real the real like one thing that kicker that really how had you overcome it was it reading other people's stories or

Rikki: Yeah there are so many things I was at a point when I was working in corporate; communications and marketing I just didn't feel valued  and I felt like I was being underutilized I don't think I was doing a good job because I felt not really confident in what I was able to do and so what really help me actually was reading a Brene Brown Daring Greatly and I've read her book it's all hooked on vulnerability and kind of coming into your own and being okay with who you are and using your own strength to as a positive instead of a negative so kind of flipping everything and that kind of change my mindset  I was like it's okay that I'm not a perfect person {laugh} whatever that means and I should use whatever you know quirks or skills that I have to and really like work on those instead of trying to be everything to everyone all the time

Kyla:  yes that's great you really like came into like acceptance and gratitude for yourself

Rikki: Yeah yeah it's been amazing I mean I'm still working on it it's not like its overnight that is a whole new person   but it's change the way that I feel for example about my body it changed the way that I feel about my relationships my work like a whole bunch of things even ah yeah even it help me let go of some of the things that I was trying so hard to be good at but then I just I guess didn't care enough about to be good at   

Kyla: Can you give me an example? What’s one of those things?

Rikki: Yeah so when I started out, i started out you know running my own business I really wanted to be like a graphic designer I love design and I love visual stuff and I tried it and I just and I don't know what it is with me but I have like a weird terrible karma with computer software {laughs} and so everything breaks on me and I'm just like whenever I try to go and do a big design project and I just did some client work and I was kinda enjoying it but I was so frustrated by the software I was like this is so terrible why can't I understand how to use this?why can't I get better at this? I was just so frustrated with myself like I just couldn't figure it out and then that whole change help me realize I don't need to figure this out there are other people who can do this, I'll do what I'm good at and stick with that i don't need to be good at this I can still do design work but it doesn't have to be done in this way or for other people

Kyla: Yeah that so great

Rikki: Yeah

Kyla: Yeah and people They just think they have to do everything your be great for everybody or you know what their message has to be for everybody or please everybody you know and it's like such a good metaphor for like that's so not the case

Rikki: Yeah I don't know if other people experience this too I know we’re mostly talking about work right now but when I was working in Communications and marketing corporate non-profit world I really was the go-to person who people go to do anything because I would just try to like I would just figure it out and I always felt so responsible for being that person and even though that was never really who I was like I never wanted to be the person who I was the go to for anyone's problems {laugh} you know or anyone work that they couldn't do so I would just figure out how to do it so letting go of that and learning how to say no to people when I didn't feel like I wanted to figure that out or that I should figure that out maybe they should figure that out themselves that has been a real game changer too.

Kyla: that’s great. I believe that our work is us you know everything we do is an expression of our inner world right and so whatever job we choose whatever house we live in whatever car we drive I personally believe that that is an expression of what's going on in our inner world

Rikki: Yeah I like the way you said that it totally make sense

Kyla: Yeah so you're transforming in using we use those like I use those outside my job or like these things are reflection to be like how is my inner world doing and then using that to kind of guide me it's hard to see all those nooks and crannies inside of inside of us right?

Rikki: Yeah  

Kyla: So, my next question is what mode of healing do you use to help others with now I hear your writing and your podcast

Rikki: Yeah I think storytelling it's funny because before I started the podcast i considered myself  not a storyteller you know if I was at a party and somebody something I would be telling someone a story I was so terrible telling stories or joke or anything like that so I never considered myself a storyteller but once i realize I kinda flip it a little bit finding I'm good at getting other people tell their stories so in that way I'm helping people to tell their own story and it's a bit different but that has been  I think the biggest way that I see myself able to help people and i thinks it from what I've seen it's useful because people will come on the podcast and tell their story and will get in touch with me afterwards and be like oh my God and you can tell they are a little bit nervous with what they said maybe they were they felt they’re too open or they might have said a quote wrong or something like that. And people, it's all about letting go of what you think you should say and say what you actually need to say and that has been really really cool to experience

Kyla: Yeah that was so wonderful what a gift to give that to people so healing. On a side note I had this woman Elizabeth Macleod who has a fairly successful online, she sells her own wild woman cards and she tells Her story but she's very very much at the moment we just went on this tangent and she was just like I guess that was meant to be said {laugh} and I don't know whoever likes listen to that podcast if there are “ these women are all over the place” but we really open and said some things for me I was like “oops I don't know if I should've said that {laugh} but I think you know I put it up there as is and it's like that's real right? That’s real and it's important

Rikki: Yeah and i think people are craving that in a world where everything is so edited like for example you look at someone’s social media feed it's only you usually only see the photos of the good day of their life you know you don't really see the real life you’re seeing an edited version of what  people want you to see so being real and telling the real story I think is something some people are craving

Kyla: Yeah pain is pain. It's real. Okay, so what’s your business called?

Rikki: It's called berad media and yeah it's copywriting and content marketing and I specifically work with visionary so people who want to create some kind of a big change or have a really cool idea that they want to get out in the world

Kyla: awesome I loved it. And how can people reach you?

Rikki: All of my, have a look at my website its all my contacts are on there I'm also on twitter beradmedia Facebook Rikki Ayers and Instagram ownupgrownup that's where I share a bunch of the podcast stuff and of course, is all the stuff about the podcast that I do

Kyla: Okay awesome so I am moving us into what I call the inspiration injection because you've already inspired anyone who's listening like crazy with your story and how you overcame it but I want to push the inspiration station into overdrive

Rikki: okay

Kyla: Number one, who was the person or the mentor who really motivates you that you listen to and follow up this moment?

Rikki: That's a great question, of course, Brene Brown like I'm kinda obsessed with Brene Brown and all the amazing work that she does and I just find that she's so real kind of on a similar level I've always followed Oprah and Oprah’s career I just think she's such an amazing woman coming from such a hard background and making such make a ridiculously amazing career out of her life so meaningful and helpful and all the different kinds of work that she does and then I know you only said one person {laugh} but I love all these people and Steven Pressfield is kind of like my writing muse I've read all of his books Turning Pro, War of Art and things like that and he has helped me kind of get serious with myself about my work and that been really helpful.

Kyla: That’s awesome. I really love how you articulate yourself and words you use to express yourself really neat I love listening to you

Rikki: Yeah thank you {laugh}

Kyla: Second question. What book are you reading right now?

Rikki: Oh. I'm reading Confessions of Advertising Man right now but I'm only 3 pages in and the reason I wanted to read that is because I think advertising is fascinating i also think it's kind of awful in certain ways I wanted to read it to understand why someone would  want to pursue advertising at the level that this guy has so and just before that I finished Cheryl Strayed’s Wild its such an inspiring book but I don't know if you've ever read it but it's about her story her bold her mother passed away when she was quite young and it kind of threw her whole world for a loop and she got into some bad things like drugs and stuff and decided to get her stuff out of that by going on a huge truck across the Pacific Crest Trail which is in the US and it's kind of about her story of coming to grips with herself with her mother's death and also about learning to trust people there's all kinds of things when end of the story there and it's such an amazing book and makes me want to travel it ignite adventurous spirit in Me and I love her stuff too

Kyla: that’s awesome. A few people are reading that book right now and I watched the movie but I feel like I watched the movie a while ago and it's kind of like this new wave of the book coming you know usually like book launches and then there's a movie

Rikki: Yeah and I actually I haven't seen the movie I'm planning to I always need a bit of a break between the book and the movie because the movie is never as good as the book.

Kyla: Yeah {laugh}

Rikki: A lot will be upset about that so I need some time in between

Kyla:  Yeah Yeah I hear you I don't know if you ever have this I have this question comes from basically my experience so I have this like pictures I have in my mind that just like really keeps me going at the beginning of our conversations what your mindset Focus was? This is like this like image in your head that you just cannot give up on like you do everything you do is because of this like what is that

Rikki: This is the thing that gets me out in the morning and it's a picture of like my future home and family and this hasn't been something that's been in my head always but I think it's really clicked in the last year it's like when you start digging down into your purpose and you figure out what you really want in life this is the picture that I imagine and it's like my beautiful home with my beautiful office my family is all there like my mom and my nieces my nephew and my sister and everytime I think about that it gets me really fired up to just do the work that I do and eventually get to the point where I feel settled in a certain sense yeah it's really motivating for me I know it sounds for a lot of people “oh that sounds boring” but for me  that’s like that's what life is family it's having a place you can call your own home that you love to be like the place where you stay grounded

Kyla: Yeah yeah I know that doesn't sound boring at all that sounds awesome {laugh} I think that’s the most important thing in life is like our family and our connection and our you know being close with the people we love most. Who is the one person in your life that makes you never want to give up to reach your vision I know you said your family but who is the one person?

Rikki: Well he is in my family probably it will be my husband because I love him so much obviously I just want to create this amazing life together with him something that you know when we’re old we look back on and really like “wow like that was our life that was amazing we would do it all Over again if we had the opportunity and i also kind of in the same vein I think about my nieces and my nephew and I really hope that it is important to me to be an example for them that you don't have to do or be what other people even Society or whoever tells you that you need to be you need to decide that for yourself and you know just go with your gut so I think about them all the time too you know when I'm like making really hard decisions

Kyla: Yeah Game Changer

Rikki: kids man {laugh}

Kyla: tell me about it that’s my vision it's my kids I always they are just in my mind all the time. Okay and you kind of just said this you said it in the last question but just to really hone it in if you had one thing to say that could change one person who's listening life forever what would you say to them? No pressure.{laugh}

Rikki: I think I would say If you're unhappy in your life right now first you need to figure out what your real source of unhappiness is sometimes we think you know I don't like my job or I don't like where I live usually it's a lot deeper than that I find. So why are you unsatisfied with your job or where you live whatever it is for me it was in my job it was the environment as much was the monotony of repeating task and also not feeling respected or of value and So I think once you kind of figure out the real source of unhappiness then you have to you have to figure out how to change it just start with the list of little steps and just go after it I know a lot of people talk about taking action but there’s a reason  people talk about why you have to take action because if you don't take action and you just think about things you don't get anywhere and so all you have to do is Tiny Little Steps at a time and it's gonna take time and might take a few years or 10 years but you will get where you want to go if you work at it

Kyla: that's awesome okay wow Rikki  thank you so much for sharing your story and being inspiring example for the world I'll leave the information that we went over its gonna be in the show notes so if you want to reach Rikki just take a look on the website or on the iTunes description and thank you everyone for listening and Rikki look forward to talking to you again sometime soon

Rikki: Thank you so much for having me it's been really a fun chat

Kyla: That’s awesome okay bye for now

Rikki: Okay bye at now even where you're going

Three takeaways that you’ll get from this podcast are:

 1. If you're unhappy in your life right now first you need to figure out what your real source of unhappiness

 2. I should use whatever you know quirks or skills that I have to and really like work on those instead of trying to be everything to everyone all the time

 3. Telling the real story I think is something some people are craving